I wish I didn't have to wear something on my head every. single. day. I wish that chemo hadn't stolen some of my eyelashes so my eyes would quit watering. I wish I could drink something other than grape kool aid. I wish I would stop waking up at 4am for no reason, even after sneaking one of Hubby's Ambien pills at night. I wish I didn't have to plan every aspect of my life around my doctors appointments. I wish my skin would stop itching. I wish my digestive system would make up its mind. I wish my fingertips would quit hurting. I wish moisturizer would do it's job and actually moisturize my hands. I wish I didn't feel like I needed a nap at 10am. I wish I didn't have to take so many damn pills every day. I wish I had the energy to take a walk. I wish I could go have lunch with my kids. I wish my face would quit breaking out like a teenager's. I wish I could eat a salad. I wish my mouth wasn't sore. I wish I could see my BFF. I wish I didn't have to brush my teeth a hundred times a day. I wish I didn't have cancer.
Today is the first day of November - the month of Thanksgiving.
I am thankful to be alive. I'm young, strong, and happy. I love and am loved. Cancer tries to fill me with little bits of negative energy every single day, but at night when I go to bed, I do so as a fighter, a survivor.
No comments:
Post a Comment