Kicking cancer's ass - day 2577

 

Nineteen years ago today, October 15^th, Hubby and I went to the courthouse and got married.  It was just us and the JP.  We said the classic marriage vows, exchanged rings and a kiss.  It took about fifteen minutes, then we went out to lunch.  Simple and honest.  That day would set the tone for our life together. 

He is my favorite, my best friend, my rock.  He teases me and makes me laugh and holds me when I cry.  He gives the best shoulder rubs.  He puts up with my OCD and my crazy dog.  He’s the best dad to our kids and the best guy to have at your back when you need something.  He lets me load the dishwasher because he knows I'll just rearrange it anyway.  He always washes the egg pan.  He's my pool guy, my RV repair guy, my scorpion killer, my lawn guy, and my boss (at work... ha ha).  I always joke that it's "all about me", but for him, it is.  He always puts me first.

Nineteen seems like such an... insignificant... number.  I mean, eighteen seemed like a milestone last year.  Next year, twenty WILL be a milestone!  But for me, for us, nineteen *is* a milestone.  Every year that we beat the odds and continue to live happily (and healthy!) is a milestone.

We “met” online almost 21 years ago.  I was 26, lurking in a chat room for 30-somethings.  He lied about his name (ahem “Adam”).  Conversations online led to emails which led to phone calls (and huge phone bills!)  which eventually led to meeting in person six months later.   Despite his mom telling him to “call it off!”, he got on a plane to South Carolina.  Love took hold and we’ve never looked back.  Our first “date” was at a Waffle House at 2am after I picked him up at the airport.  I introduced him to the ocean and he brought me to Texas. 

Just like any other love story, ours has its share of ups and downs.  We’ve lost friends and siblings and even his mom.  We lost babies (see below).  We went through CANCER.   I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through the last two decades without him by my side.  As much as we’ve leaned on each other in the tough times, we’ve laughed and loved through a lot of good times.   Raising kids, going to football games, casino trips, softball tournaments, weddings, band concerts, lunch dates after many, many doctor appointments, road trips, Netflix binges, evenings out by the pool – everything has been better with him by my side. 

 

I’m a night owl.  He turns into a pumpkin at 10pm.  I’m a neat freak.  He’s.... not.  I’m an emotional mess most of the time.  He’s a stoic realist.  I worry about everything.  He only worries about the important things.  I'm a spender, he's a saver.  I drive fast, I call him a grandpa driver.  I'm a reader, he's a tv-watcher.  Somehow it all works.  My hubby is the ultimate responsible family man, and his unconditional love for me is one of the greatest blessings of my life.

 Happy Anniversary to us! 

Kicking cancer's ass - day 2562

The following is a compilation of my "Pinktober" posts from the last seven years.  Instead of repeating myself,  I'm just going to share again.  It's exactly how I feel to this day.  I don't think we need to be any more "aware" of breast cancer, but buying/wearing/displaying anything pink or with a pink ribbon means support of anyone affected by this disease, including me.  So thank you!!  

p.s. My shirt today says "Wear pink like a boss"   Damn straight!

***

It's October.  You know what that means.  Pink everywhere.  Are you aware of breast cancer?  I'm pretty sure you are.  I know for damn sure I am!  Many, many breast cancer survivors have negative feelings towards breast cancer awareness month.  In a way, I get it.  I mean, who isn't aware of breast cancer?  And most of the pink ribbon stuff you see is just a gimmick - people making money off of it instead of "supporting the cause".  

However, because I am so aware of breast cancer, the whole "Pinktober" thing doesn't bother me.  In a way, I kind of embrace it.  Breast cancer has changed my life.  Both of my grandmothers and my Hubby's mom died from this awful disease.  My best friend, my best friend's mom, my sister-in-law... they are all survivors, too.  In a couple of weeks I am going to Las Vegas to meet a group of women who were in the trenches with me this time last year, and have all come out the other side.  We even had shirts made, and the back says "Friends don't let friends fight cancer alone."  I don't make it my mission to advertise that I had cancer, and I don't really think breast cancer awareness is the problem.  Breast cancer is the problem.  

I don't wear pink to make people aware.  I don't wear my pink ribbon necklace so people will know I had breast cancer.  I support "the cause", because in turn, I'm supporting the women who have been and are right there with me.  Fighting cancer is a big, huge deal, and every day that I wake up breathing and smiling is a big fat "f-you" to cancer.  And that's worth wearing pink for! 

***

I'm a riser

I'm a get off of the ground, don't run and hider

When pushin' comes to shove

Hey I'm a fighter

When darkness comes to town, I'm a lighter

A get out a-liver, of the fire

Survivor

***

A couple of weeks ago I was talking with a softball coach from out of town, and she mentioned that her mom has breast cancer.  I told her that I am a three year breast cancer survivor, and her email reply was:

That's AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   

Yeah.  It damn sure is.

Next weekend is our softball league's fifth annual "Hope for a Cure" tournament.  K's team will be wearing special pink ribbon jerseys, and I bought Hubby a pin that says "Real men wear pink".  Not because I want to jump on the Pinktober bandwagon, but because this has been a very real, very difficult, very personal journey and "Pinktober" MEANS something to me.  When I hand out the trophies and medals to the winning teams next Sunday and tell them that I'm a breast cancer survivor, it shows those young girls that breast cancer is more than just a pink ribbon on a cup.  I can look at them and smile and tell them thank you for playing for a such a good cause.  I can give them a face for "Pinktober".

***

 

It's PINKTOBER!

I wrote this last October 1st, and it's still how I feel about Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  

In case you've been living under a rock, October is Breast Cancer Awareness month.  That means you will be inundated with ads online and on tv for anything and everything pink.  People will start those stupid chain messages on Facebook about a "no bra day" to support the cause.  People will tell you to "save second base".  You'll have the opportunity to buy pink shirts, socks, shoes, pens, jewelry, rubbermaid containers, hammers, etc.  You name it, someone has jumped on the pink ribbon bandwagon for it.

Most of my breast cancer survivor friends have a hate/hate relationship with this month, and the color pink.  It's true that most of the hype does NOT raise any money for breast cancer care or research.  There are a ton of articles and web sites about how little profit from pink ribbon sales actually goes to the cause.  Most of it is just that.... profit.  Only a very small percentage, if any, of pink ribbon merchandise sales actually goes towards anything related to breast cancer.  So basically it's just people and businesses capitalizing on breast cancer.

That's the negative.  I don't blame my friends for feeling that way, and I don't agree with anyone wanting to make a profit on something that tried to kill me.

However..... I don't mind Pinktober.  I don't mind pink ribbon items. 

 I love pink!

Having breast cancer changed my life.  While it doesn't define me, it has changed the way I look, the way I feel, and the way I view things.  And the way I view this whole pink ribbon campaign is this:  if you know me, or someone else, who has been affected by breast cancer, and you choose to wear a shirt with a pink ribbon on it, or buy pink trash bags, or put a pink ribbon magnet on your car, I don't think you are "giving in" to the hype.  In my opinion, by doing any of those things, you are showing your support for me (or whoever) and the fact that I'm a survivor of this horrible disease.

While Hefty may donate little or no profit from the sale of pink trash bags, the fact that you bought them with ME in mind means that the whole gimmick worked.  Your purchase of those trash bags will not provide a cure for cancer..... but it does show support.  And one of the most important weapons in a cancer patient's arsenal is support.

(To be clear, I have no clue if Hefty sells pink trash bags.... that's just an example I made up because let's face it, you can buy everything from pens to scarves to boots with pink ribbons on them!)