Before d-day, I would have said I was a good person. I have always tried to be thoughtful and kind, helpful and interesting, caring and reliable. My children are like me in that they always want everyone to like them. I haven't always been popular, but I think I've been well-liked by the people around me. Since d-day? I love me! I don't always love the way I feel or the things I do, but I've figured something out: I am a kick-ass lady!
I've always heard that you should learn to love yourself before you love anyone else, but I've always been my harshest critic. You know what? It doesn't matter if I weigh twenty pounds more than I should or if I don't always have a witty comeback. It doesn't matter if I'm too sensitive and get my feelings hurt easily. It doesn't matter if I don't always fit in with the "in crowd". It doesn't matter that my wardrobe consists of t-shirts, jeans and fuzzy socks. I don't like to be the center of attention, I love to read, I don't get my nails done and I wouldn't know trendy if it bit me on the nose. Cancer may have taken my energy, my taste buds, and my hair, but my journey with cancer has given me an appreciation of who I am. I am a woman with a warm heart who loves her husband and children more than they will ever know. I am a woman I would like to be friends with. I am stronger than I thought I would ever need to be. I am walking down a road nobody wants to walk, and I'm doing it with a smile on my face. Not because it's enjoyable, but because the alternative is unthinkable. I don't want to be miserable until I don't have cancer anymore. I am doing my best to treat each day like the gift it is.
I don't think I'm the best person out there, but I am the best me that I know how to be.
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