Welcome to my world

I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister and a friend.
I've learned that who you have in your life matters more than what you have.
Thank you for stepping in to my world!

Saturday, March 31, 2018

Kicking cancer's ass - day 1674


It has been almost two months since I lost my BFF.
The grief is always there.... sometimes quietly under the surface, and sometimes it hits like a tidal wave.  Today Hubby and I had a movie date.  We went to see I Can Only Imagine.


I'm very familiar with that song, but I had no idea that one of the members of Mercy Me had written it.  The movie was excellent.... very intense and emotional.  Toward the end of the movie, there's a very touching scene where "Bart Millard" sings his song in public for the very first time.
I cried.  I cried because it is a beautiful song.  I cried because it was a beautiful moment in the movie.  And I cried because one of those tidal waves of grief hit me in that moment.

I know Trudy is in a better place.  I know her body has been healed.  I know she is watching over us from heaven.  But I miss her, dammit.

For so long, I prayed for strength and healing for Trudy.  She's healed... 100% healed... in heaven.  I still pray for Trudy, but my prayer is different.  I pray that she can show me the way when I feel lost.  I pray that she can give me hope when I need it.  I pray that her light always shines down on those of us who loved her.
Trudy grew so much in her faith over the last few years.  I know.... I KNOW.... that she is happy and at peace in the arms of our Lord.  I know that she was ready to go home.  I can only imagine how content she must be..... free of sickness and pain, surrounded by God's glory.





I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk, by your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When you face is before me
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
Surrounded by You glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus
Or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine