I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean it in a great way. I've been told that I'm such an inspiration. I don't feel like an inspiration. Most days I'm cranky, I'm exhausted, I don't feel good for one reason or another (or twelve), but I try to keep my big girl panties on and just keep going forward with life. What else can I do? The world isn't going to stop because I have cancer. I still have to be Michelle. I have a beautiful life to live, so I try to do that even on days when I just want to curl up into a ball and hide.
I just had a conversation with Hubby at lunch today about how I realized I only have three weeks of chemo left. Considering I've already logged thirteen weeks of this crap, three weeks is nothing. Piece of cake. Gah. It might as well be three years. I'm sick of everything about this. I want to wave my white flag and be done. Chemo sucks, and it's just the first part of my journey.
So... on a day that I'm feeling like that, and after telling Hubby all about it (I know how to show a guy a good time on our lunch date!), I come home to find a Priority Mail box on my porch. In it was this:
And the card explaining each item:
I've been the recipient of many gifts and thoughtful deeds since this whole thing started, and I appreciate every single one more than anyone will ever know. God didn't send me this care package, but He made sure it was delivered to me today - on a day when all I want to do is surrender. How can I do that when I have this beauty in my life?
By the way.... My friend L who sent me the goodies lives hundreds of miles from me and is a busy wife and mom of FIVE kids. The fact that she took the time to be creatively thoughtful and send me a pick-me-up out of the blue when we haven't even talked in weeks is beyond awesome. Once again I'm humbled. And I think maybe I owe her a hot chocolate.