Kicking cancer's ass - day 7

Do you ever feel like you are smarter than your doctor?  Or maybe not smarter, but that you know more than they think you should?  See, that's the problem with the internet.  You can find out just about anything about anything.  The minute I suspected I had cancer I began researching like a fiend.  This is nothing new.  I do this with everything - buying a car, picking the best pair of shoes, finding a new recipe.  I can (and do) Google things to death.  Since the magnitude of this issue is so huge, my research has taken on epic proportions.

I've come to the realization that knowledge is power.  Given that I am fighting for my life in a battle I've never fought, I want to have all the knowledge I can.  This means I know more than I ever thought I would know about hormone receptors and tumor grades and stages of cancer.  I know the difference between a CT scan and a PET scan, and I can name almost every chemotherapy drug given for breast cancer.  I am only one month past d-day (diagnosis day) and yet I've spent countless hours with nurses, radiologists, doctors and my surgeon.

The down side to carrying the equivalent of a breast cancer encyclopedia (remember them?) in my head is that I probably know more than I should.  I know my options and weigh them.  Incessantly.  Maybe it would be easier if I was some little old lady who had never met a keyboard.  I could listen to my all-knowing doctors and just take comfort in the fact that they know what they are doing.  Unfortunately I have a hard time laying my life in anyone's hands, even those of a medical professional!  I want to know who, what, where, when, why and how much, and then I want to know again!  I will not sit here and blindly follow, assuming they know what is best.  Maybe the patients who do that rest more easily at night than I do (instead of having their hubby tell them to "shut the computer and give your brain a rest"), but I refuse to accept that I'm doing what's best for me just because the doctors say so.  Considering I want to live a long, long time, I will find out everything I can about cancer, treatment, side effects, prognosis, possible complications, surgery, you name it!  Breast cancer is my enemy and I'm adding my brain to the arsenal I'm using to defeat it!