You know my friend A? Of course you know my friend A.... I've posted about her often enough, but in case you don't, go read her blog:
Three Little Cowboys.
Anyway, A has been walking this cancer road way longer than I have and she is a wise soul. When I had the opportunity to visit with her last month she told me something that has really stuck with me. I kept asking her if she was sure she was up to seeing me and that I didn't want to intrude, etc. She told me, "I am very selective about who I spend my time with these days." Now in her case, that meant she wanted to see me. Thank God.
Lately I've been thinking about that a lot. Life is too darn short. Whether I live for four more months or forty more years, I want to make the most of every single day. Normal life has its ups and downs, I realize that. Will I always be happy and never again have a bad day? No. But I don't want to surround myself with negativity. I don't want to give anyone the power to bring me down. Having cancer and all that entails will bring you down enough. I live every day knowing I had cancer. I live every day with the fear that there are cancer cells still lurking somewhere, or that it could come back at any time. I've been through one of the roughest chemo regimens out there for breast cancer. I've had the most extensive surgery a breast cancer patient can have. I'm currently halfway through thirty-three radiation treatments. There have been a lot of days since August 1st that have brought me down, but going through tough times physically and emotionally makes me really appreciate the good times.
All that being said...I've always been a glass half full person, but I plan to be even more so now. I wouldn't say I'm focusing on my own mortality.... just that I, too, am going to be more selective about who I spend my time with and what I spend my time doing.
Another one of my friends (two-time cancer survivor) has often said,
"Every day that my feet hit the floor in the morning and I'm breathing it's a great day!"
How right she is.
I have very wise friends.