The other day I got "the look".
Let me explain. If you've seen me around lately, you've probably noticed I've switched from my little knit hats and bandanas to baseball caps or even "topless" (ha ha...meaning no hat, dirty-minded people). I hate, hate, hate my super short hair and don't feel good about how I look at all.... but I hate my wigs even more. I've been wearing something on my head every single day since September. If you've never been bald from chemo, you have no idea how OLD that gets - day after day, week after week, month after freaking month! Finally I said enough! I have hair, not a lot, but it's hair, so maybe I should stop hiding it.
So the other day I went shopping and saw someone I know. Not a friend, but an acquaintance I've known for years. She smiled and gave me a "Hi" like you would to someone you don't know. Then she looked at me more closely, and I could tell she was either trying to figure out who I was or why I don't look like I used to. <sigh> Cancer sucks. I know I can't hide the fact that I had cancer.... believe me, I look in the mirror every day. But getting "the look" where someone knows you've been through something awful just by looking at you, and it's the elephant in the room, just plain sucks.
I'll be glad when my hair grows enough that it can be considered a cute "hairstyle" instead of so obviously being hair growing back after being bald.
On the plus side, when I went in for radiation today, one of the lab techs from the chemo side saw me and gave my hair a thumbs up. I guess it's all in the perspective.