What a way to spend half a year. Since August I've been poked and prodded and x-rayed and photographed and examined more times than I can count. I've had blood tests, mammograms, ultrasounds, biopsies, CT scans, bone scans, PET scans, MRIs, chemotherapy and surgery. Since I'm still looking at radiation, preventative gynecological surgery and reconstruction surgeries later this year, it looks like I won't be jumping off this cancer treatment hamster wheel anytime soon.
That's not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it can seem endless.... the tests, the doctors, the procedures, the pills (Oh my GOD the pills!).... if I didn't have my trusty red binder and my phone calendar, there is no way I'd be able to keep track of everything. As sad and painful and exhausting as this road is to travel, I am thankful for so many things. I am so thankful for each of my doctors and their nurses for their part in my care. I have put my faith in them and my life in their hands. I am so thankful for modern technology - the machines and computers and medicines, all of which are helping my oncologists and surgeons give me the best care possible. I am so thankful for health insurance. Cancer treatment is more expensive than you can even imagine (remember the $10,000 injections during chemo??), and what we have to pay is just a drop in that bucket thanks to our insurance. I am so thankful for all of the wonderful people in my life who are supporting and encouraging me in ways big and small.
Most of all, I am so thankful for me. I am thankful that I am young and that I was healthy when I began the fight against this monster. I am thankful that I am stronger than I ever expected - who knew I could kick ass like this???
I am thankful that God has me in his hands. My heart is full of hope and faith.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11