Welcome to my world

I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister and a friend.
I've learned that who you have in your life matters more than what you have.
Thank you for stepping in to my world!

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Kicking cancer's ass - day 280

This is exactly how I felt this morning.  Fatigue is still my number one complaint (well, that and my stupid hair that grows too slowly!).  J had a friend spend the night last night and the kids starting watching a movie at 9:30pm.  Not a big deal on summer vacation, right?  Only problem was I was ready to go to sleep at 9:30pm!  <yawn>  

I keep telling people that I can go and go and go, but once I hit the wall, my body tells me in a very obvious way that I need to rest!  I guess last night was me hitting the wall.  I turned my light out before 10, got the boys up and on their way to football camp at 7:30am and then went back to bed until after 10am.  I just could not stay awake.  

I asked on one of my breast cancer Facebook groups how long this fatigue lasts after radiation, and most of them said months.  I need to cut myself some slack, because I know I'm not just tired from thirty-three radiation treatments.  I'm tired from having my life completely turned upside down by cancer.  I'm tired from dozens of doctors appointments, basically poisoning my body with chemo drugs, major surgery as well as those radiation treatments.  I'm tired from kicking cancer's ass for the last ten months.  

Aren't you tired of me writing about being tired?  During chemo, I had a whole list of complaints.  After surgery I was 100% focused on getting stronger every day and healing.  Now I'm just figuring out how to get back to enjoying life while at the same time knowing I can't give 110% of myself to everything like I'm used to doing.  There are times when I'll need to sleep until 10am and there are times when I'll have to tell my kids I can't go swimming in the middle of the afternoon when it's 95 degrees.  I hate it, but I have to learn that I have limitations and that those limitations are ok.

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