Welcome to my world

I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister and a friend.
I've learned that who you have in your life matters more than what you have.
Thank you for stepping in to my world!

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Kicking cancer's ass - day 417

I read a post online today, something someone in the public eye had written, and it really made me think.  It was written by a woman who is currently undergoing treatment for breast cancer.  In my quest for information and support, since d-day I have come across countless articles and followed many, many women throughout their fight.  I still do.  Anyway, this particular lady has had surgery and chemo, so while I know everyone responds and reacts differently, I pretty much know exactly what she's going through, considering I've been there.  It sucks, and I feel sorry for her, or anyone else who has to face this beast like I did, but sometimes she comes across as such a whiner.  That makes me sound really judgmental, and I hate that.  Let me try to explain my feelings about this.

Like this woman, I made the decision to bring my fight to the public eye.  Granted, my little blog reaches only a tiny fraction of the audience she does, but still.  I chose to share every day of my treatment - the good, the bad and the ugly.  Through it all, I tried to remain myself.  I didn't want to become Michelle the cancer patient.  I am Michelle who happened to have cancer.  I have followed this lady's posts from the beginning of her journey, and since day one, I've been wondering if I ever gave my readers that same self-pitying vibe that I get from reading her words.

Every cancer patient instantly becomes selfish and self-centered when diagnosed.  You have to.  Immediately the focus switches from everyday life to fighting for your life, and things that might seem trivial to others are suddenly a huge deal to you.  Cancer has a sneaky way of taking over every aspect of your life if you let it.  However, I know that there are millions of other women battling right beside me.  This woman writes like she's the first person to ever have breast cancer.  I sympathize with her, and definitely harbor no ill will toward her.  I respect her for her honesty and her openness.  What she's going through is a nightmare, plain and simple.  But she's not the only woman who has had her hair, her breasts and life as she knew it stolen by cancer.

I realize not everyone can put on a brave face and wake each day planning to be strong.  I know I didn't.  Cancer and its treatment is no picnic.  I've had my share of "woe is me" days for sure.  I don't always feel strong, and every day I hate what cancer has done to me.  I just hope I haven't brought my readers, my supporters, down by feeling sorry for myself.

1 comment:

Robin said...

I can say that you never brought me down! What did bring me down was when your mom said that you might not post everyday ;);) I love reading your posts and in no way did it bring me down nor did you come across as someone looking for a pity party. You write so well and I always felt as if I was talking face to face with you when I was reading your blog!! Thanks for writing it!!