Welcome to my world

I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister and a friend.
I've learned that who you have in your life matters more than what you have.
Thank you for stepping in to my world!

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Kicking cancer's ass - day 567

Yesterday I lost a part of my family.  This photo was taken right before I said goodbye.  My beloved Shadow was with me for almost half my life.  I'm trying to find comfort in the fact that she brought me so much joy over a lot (a LOT!) of years, and she's in a better place now.  But all I can really think about, as I'm overwhelmed with grief, is how much heartache I've faced in my adult life.

This is Pumpkin.  We lost him to diabetes a few years ago.  I don't know how I lucked out and ended up with two wonderful cats, but Pumpkin and Shadow were two blessings in my life.  They were with me through thick and thin, ups and downs, happy times and sad.  They were always up for a cuddle and loved my little girl as much as I do.           

Five years ago this summer, we lost Boyd's mom to cancer.  She was a good Christian woman, a loving wife and mother, and the best Granny my kids could have asked for. 

Four months later, we lost Pat, or "Nana" as the kids called her.  My father-in-law's wife was a caring, spunky woman who loved her family and died unexpectedly, way too young.

  This is my BFF.  Two years before my d-day, she was diagnosed with Stage III breast cancer.  She had already reached the magic five year cancer-free mark after having surgery for cervical cancer.  She fought like a warrior, though, and shows me every day how to live life to the fullest, no matter what it throws at you.  While she is alive and well, she lives thousands of miles away and I wish more than anything I could have her presence in my life every day.

This was my last chemo day, December 5, 2013.

We all know the stress and challenges I've faced over the last 18+ months (if you don't, go back and start reading from day one!).  Fighting cancer is a war I wish nobody had to fight.  I'm doing well, but every day I struggle with all cancer took from me.

Midway through my journey, my sweet friend Allyson went home to be with our Lord.  She was funny, creative, caring, devoted and more fun than you can imagine.  She was my first "mommy" friend and she talked me down from the ledge so many times during the early days after I was diagnosed.  

These are my parents.  In August my dad had a heart attack and a major stroke.  A couple of months later my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer.  They are both living life and fighting their battles, but it has not been an easy road for either of them.  I pray every day for healing.

 And then there are our friends.  One of the problems with living in a military town is that people come, but then they go.
Last summer J's best, best friend moved to Ohio, taking his mom and one of MY good friends with him. 

Around that same time, one of K's best friends moved... all the way to Germany!  Her mom was another of my good, good friends, and my dugout buddy for softball.  We miss them so much!
Recently I lost the friendship of a person who ended up not being who I thought they were.  She was someone I was very close to, and also the mother of K's BFF.  It's a sad situation all around, and I'm having a really hard time coming to terms with the betrayal and lies, and the hurt that my little girl feels because of everything that has happened.

I know that everyone has their struggles and burdens to carry.  These are mine.  I know, despite all of the heartache, sadness and grief, I am blessed beyond measure.  Many of the people I love are still in my life despite the odds stacked against them, and for that I'm extremely grateful.  My children are the greatest joys in my life, and my Hubby is and always has been my rock, my shoulder to cry on, the one who carries my burdens when I can't do it anymore.  Sometimes, most of the time, I feel so strong.  Sometimes I need someone to be strong for me, and he's always been willing to step up to the plate for me.  I love him to the moon and back and can't imagine my life without him.

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