Welcome to my world

I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister and a friend.
I've learned that who you have in your life matters more than what you have.
Thank you for stepping in to my world!

Monday, September 21, 2015

Kicking cancer's ass - day 752

I'm not okay tonight.

No real reason.  At least not that I can think of.  This came on suddenly and without explanation.  Just now, tonight....just like that.  Last night I had a fabulous date with Hubby that continued over into today.  Fantastic concert (really - fantastic, amazing, phenomenal concert), a night without kids in a hotel, sleeping in this morning (sort of).  Tonight we had a nice family dinner out.  I haven't done anything else, or even talked to anyone else.


I'm not depressed.  I've been through hell and back over the last two years.  I know what being depressed feels like.  I'm not angry.  I'm not frustrated.  I'm not tired.  I'm just.... off.

Do you ever feel like that?  Like something is wrong (well, maybe not 'wrong', but more 'not quite right') but you don't know WHAT?  I feel unstable and restless and kinda sad.  What gives?  Is there some cosmic shift going on with the change of seasons and I'm off-balance?  Is this the start of one of my "something bad is going to happen" premonitions? 
(I'm usually right, so I hope to God that's not it).

I want to go to bed to escape this feeling, but I don't feel tired enough.  
I know I took my Lexapro this morning.  I'm sure of it.  
Maybe I need another.
I feel overwhelmed, but I don't even know what is overwhelming me.  

Ugh.  Sometimes being me is difficult.

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