Welcome to my world

I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister and a friend.
I've learned that who you have in your life matters more than what you have.
Thank you for stepping in to my world!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Kicking Cancer's Ass - Day 629

Ok, you laugh (because that is pretty funny), but that's exactly what having cancer has done to me.  Well, I probably can't blame the OCD part on chemo, because I'm pretty sure I was born that way.  And I can't claim PMS because I had a hysterectomy.... but I promise you being suddenly thrown into menopause at age 40 is like a permanent state of PMS.  You want to talk hormones?  Try having NO hormones!

I have the attention span of a toddler.  I have about fifty projects I need to finish, papers all over my coffee table, stacks of medical bills and insurance papers to go through, a to-be-read pile of books bigger than me..... and most of the time all I can manage is to play a game of Trivia Crack on my phone.

It's really disconcerting and frustrating.  For someone who always had it together, could multi-task with the best of them and was known for her organizational skills, feeling like this depressing.  I can't accomplish anything because I either can't remember to do it, or I start and don't finish, or I get distracted and it takes me ten times longer than it should.  And deep down inside I'm still a perfectionist, so I get aggravated with myself more than anything.

I haven't found a solution yet.  I'm sure Hubby wishes I would.  I think he's gotten used to my OCD-ness over the years.  But this new and not-so-improved menopausal, forgetful, tired and grouchy woman is not the lady he married.  She's in there somewhere.  

I just can't remember where I put her.

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