Kicking cancer's ass - day 2043

  

It has been a little over a month since my big brother died. 
38 days to be exact. 
We still don't know why.  The pain and sorrow are just as heavy now as they were the night I found out.  I relive that phone call over and over.  I still can't believe that he's gone.

I think about him so often, and this is how I picture him when I do:  a baseball cap (probably Dallas Cowboys) on his head, a water bottle in his hand, and a smile on his face.

I hate that he passed away.  HATE IT.  Not too many things make me very angry, but this does.  

I don't want to sound trite, because the fact that Darren is not in our world anymore truly sucks..... but there is always a silver lining.  

One of the bright spots in one of the darkest months of my life is Dexter.  With Darren gone, his little buddy needed a home.  We didn't know it, but we needed Dexter, too.

Three weeks ago today Hubby and I left Las Vegas with this precious cargo.

It was a long, long drive there and back in a few short days, but oh so worth it.

This little (ok, maybe not so little) dog has brought joy and laughter to our house.  I have always been a cat lover, and never wanted a dog.  Who knew Dexter would make my heart so happy?  He has Darren's personality, and being able to love Dexter since Darren can't is a balm to my wounded soul.

My kids are over the moon with this dog, especially K.  

She is an animal lover and has been begging for a cat or a dog for YEARS.  I was the one who would veto a dog, Hubby always vetoed a cat.  There was no way on earth I could have denied her, though, when she asked if we could take Dexter.

He is a quirky guy who hates dog food, likes popcorn, enthusiastically greets everyone he meets and LOVES riding in the car.  And he's always smiling.

The last six weeks have been a whirlwind of travel.  Last weekend we were in Kerrville for softball.  The weekend before that we were in Corpus Christi for a school competition.  The weekend before that we were in Vegas to get Dexter.  The weekend before that we were in New York for my brother's memorial service (and then Dallas for softball).  The weekend before that we were in Weatherford for softball.  The weekend before that we were in Justin, TX for a school competition.  It has been exhausting:  I'm more physically and emotionally drained than I have been since the dark days following my cancer diagnosis.  Taking Dexter into our family somehow makes it all just a little bit ok.