One thing I have never been good at is not sweating the small stuff. I take everything to heart, and I wear that heart on my sleeve. So letting things roll off my back doesn't happen easily, even if it is something I shouldn't worry about.
There is a lot of good in my life. I am a cancer survivor. My mom is a cancer survivor. My husband and children are happy and healthy. My dad is doing much better. My brother is busy with a new job and a new wife. I have a few good friends who know the heart of who I am and love me for it, and I have a bunch of good people I'm friendly with. I miss my friends who no longer live here, but thanks to technology I am able to interact with them on a daily basis.
I have friends who will drive an hour to watch my daughter play softball and bring my husband cupcakes.
I have friends who randomly send me two pounds of gummy bears.
I have friends who make me laugh even when they are going through one of the roughest times of their lives.
In the grand scheme of things, a lot of what stresses me out won't matter next week, next month, next year. People have problems, people get upset, people complain. It's human nature. The fact that I can't fix everything or make everyone happy doesn't discount the myriad of ways I do fix things to make people happy. Sometimes I forget that.
I'm a giver. I care about people, and I care about what people think of me. But I'm tired of worrying about who is with me/us and who isn't. I'm tired of people saying one thing and doing another. I'm tired of always being the stepping stone for something they think is better. I've learned the hard way that for the most part everyone is in it for themselves. Society as a whole is more self-centered than ever before. My experiences over the last few years have made me lose faith in so many people that I care about.
But you know what? One thing I've always taught my children is to treat others how they would like to be treated. I choose honesty. I choose loyalty. I choose friendship. I choose kindness.
Nobody promised that life would be easy. But life is precious, and it's worth it.