Most of the time I feel pretty good. I have aches and pains, and little energy, but most days I'm good to go. I go to work, I run errands, I do laundry and cook dinner. I manage to be a mom, a wife, a bookkeeper, a softball coach, a friend. Lately though, the "good to go" feeling is gone.
I had an incredibly busy few weeks getting ready for our softball league to host a big tournament. Four long days in the heat after weeks of preparation did me in. I came home Sunday afternoon and crashed at 3:00 in the afternoon. I did not get up until almost 10am the next morning.
I'm still really tired, days later. I don't know if it's the normal "you've been through hell because you had cancer" tired, or if I just haven't been taking good care of myself. I just really want to sleep for a week.
One of the lovely side effects of Tamoxifen is joint pain. Most of the time it's not bad... some hip pain and my knees get stiff if I sit too long. Sometimes it is worse. Tonight is one of those times. Everything hurts.
Being tired, feeling drained, and having it hurt to move makes for one cranky lady. I feel guilty wallowing in any negativity, but sometimes I just have to give in to the pity party.
One of these days I will wake up and feel rested. One of these days I will be able to stand up without saying "Ow". One of these days I will feel a little bit closer to normal.
One of these days.
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