This is a very appropriate entry to make for Insomniac Blogging...
Dear Allyson,
I think about you
SO often. I mean, your picture still hangs on my fridge for crying out loud, so you're not going to let me even take my pills without seeing your smiling face. I think about your family almost as often. I'm still friends with your mom and sister on Facebook, even though I last spent time with them over a dozen years ago. I think about your boys..... so, so much. Every now and then I will stalk the Conner and Hendrickson families on Facebook, hoping to see a glimpse of your three little cowboys.
Tonight when I was scrolling through, it's a damn good thing I was sitting down. I saw a picture of my friend's daughter and her boyfriend.... and his jacket said COLE HENDRICKSON!! Pardon my French, but ho-ly shit! I have seen dozens of pictures of this young lady, including some absolutely stunning ones from prom night where she and her guy were all shined up like new pennies.
I DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE HIM!
It makes me sad that I didn't recognize him.... even though the last time I actually saw him was at your memorial service almost five years ago. And I'm well aware of how much a teenaged boy changes in five years! But my goodness, this is COLE. HOW did I not know that was him? I mean, I know he lives in Abilene, and I know he's the same age as Jared, but still!
On the flip side, it makes me so, so happy to see him happy. His girlfriend comes from a great family and she's as sweet as can be. Your "Goliath" is a tall, fit, handsome young man who would stand head and shoulders above you if you were here.
I am finding it hard to wrap my mind around the fact that the boy-man in that picture (that yes, I stole it from Facebook) is the same pudgy little toddler in my memory who sang to the Wiggles in your car with Jared the whole entire way to Houston!
My friend, I am so incredibly sorry that you are not here to see the fine young men your boys are growing into. I am so incredibly sorry that I haven't been able to keep in touch with them (although it would probably be weird for them if I did...ha). I am so incredibly sorry that your sons have not had you in their lives for almost five years. ( #$%! cancer)
I
AM so incredibly thankful that I made this discovery tonight. It reminded me of what a small world we live in, and how there is beauty even after tragedy. Cole Hendrickson, if you see this, know that I loved your mom so much. She was my first ever "mommy friend" (we picked each other up at the park... ha ha). She taught me how to make enchiladas and shared her love of Rosa's tortillas and sang Willie Nelson to me in the car. She was the epitome of grace, and she taught me how to look deep inside when I needed to hold on to my faith. She made me laugh at some of the worst moments of my life, and she showed me how to fight cancer with everything I have. If you see this, know that I adored you from before you could walk, and I am so incredibly proud of who you are.
Your mom's goodness shines out of you and your brothers bright enough for everyone to see.
