Kicking cancers ass - day 694

Most of the time I feel pretty good. I have aches and pains, and little energy, but most days I'm good to go.  I go to work, I run errands, I do laundry and cook dinner. I manage to be a mom, a wife, a bookkeeper, a softball coach, a friend.  Lately though, the "good to go" feeling is gone.

I had an incredibly busy few weeks getting ready for our softball league to host a big tournament. Four long days in the heat after weeks of preparation did me in. I came home Sunday afternoon and crashed at 3:00 in the afternoon. I did not get up until almost 10am the next morning.

I'm still really tired, days later. I don't know if it's the normal "you've been through hell because you had cancer" tired, or if I just haven't been taking good care of myself. I just really want to sleep for a week.

One of the lovely side effects of Tamoxifen is joint pain. Most of the time it's not bad... some hip pain and my knees get stiff if I sit too long.  Sometimes it is worse.  Tonight is one of those times. Everything hurts.

Being tired, feeling drained, and having it hurt to move makes for one cranky lady. I feel guilty wallowing in any negativity, but sometimes I just have to give in to the pity party.

One of these days I will wake up and feel rested. One of these days I will be able to stand up without saying "Ow". One of these days I will feel a little bit closer to normal.

One of these days.

Kicking cancer's ass - day 682

Allyson Hendrickson.

Most of you did not know her.  I'm sorry for that.  She was a person well worth knowing.  She was a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an auntie and a friend.  She was my friend.

One year ago today Allyson earned her angel wings.  I know she's at peace now that she's at home with God.  She's no longer in pain.  She's no longer having to fight every single day to stay alive.  I'm relieved for her.  But I'm still sad.  Sad for those of us who loved her.  Especially sad for her "three little cowboys" who have to grow up without their incredible mom.  

I always talk about my "journey" or traveling this road we call cancer.  Nobody traveled it better, with more grace, than Allyson.  She was my example.  She taught me how to fight cancer, and how to live life while doing it.  Having cancer brought her to the lowest of low points, and yet her faith was still shining brightly.

My blog entry from the day of Allyson's memorial service is one of the best things I've ever written.  If you want to know Allyson, and what having her for a friend was like, read Kicking cancer's ass - day 321

Allyson's friends started a non-profit organization called Ally's Wish, and they raise money to grant wishes to mothers with terminal illnesses.  The first wish granted was Allyson's - to have her blog published for her boys.  Her family was the first to receive the book, but I'm happy to say that Three Little Cowboys is finally available to everyone.  Click here to purchase!  My copy sits proudly on my bookshelf.

If you've never read any of Allyson's blog, you need this book.  Even if you have, you need this book.  She was such a gifted writer - her blog entries were so heartfelt and funny, even through her darkest days.  The light that is Allyson Hendrickson shines through every single blog entry.

Buy the book.  Read the book.

Pray for her family.

Donate to Ally's Wish.

And wear flip flops.  Make Allyson proud.

I miss you friend.