The grief is always there.... sometimes quietly under the surface, and sometimes it hits like a tidal wave. Today Hubby and I had a movie date. We went to see I Can Only Imagine.
I'm very familiar with that song, but I had no idea that one of the members of Mercy Me had written it. The movie was excellent.... very intense and emotional. Toward the end of the movie, there's a very touching scene where "Bart Millard" sings his song in public for the very first time.
I cried. I cried because it is a beautiful song. I cried because it was a beautiful moment in the movie. And I cried because one of those tidal waves of grief hit me in that moment.
I know Trudy is in a better place. I know her body has been healed. I know she is watching over us from heaven. But I miss her, dammit.
For so long, I prayed for strength and healing for Trudy. She's healed... 100% healed... in heaven. I still pray for Trudy, but my prayer is different. I pray that she can show me the way when I feel lost. I pray that she can give me hope when I need it. I pray that her light always shines down on those of us who loved her.
Trudy grew so much in her faith over the last few years. I know.... I KNOW.... that she is happy and at peace in the arms of our Lord. I know that she was ready to go home. I can only imagine how content she must be..... free of sickness and pain, surrounded by God's glory.
I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk, by your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When you face is before me
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
Surrounded by You glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus
Or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
