Kicking cancers ass - day 4503

I love giving gifts. LOVE IT.  I am always on the hunt for the most perfect gift every time. I'm not someone who normally goes to a random store to buy a gift off the shelf (unless the person is hard to buy for or I'm in a time crunch). Not that there's anything wrong with shopping like that... it's just not my usual method. My hubby laughs at me, but I start Christmas shopping months and months ahead of time, because I want the gifts I give to be the most thoughtful, meaningful, personal thing each time. I want the person receiving the gift to know I thought of them when I picked it out. 

Pride begets the fall. Unfortunately this year, exchanging Christmas gifts just made me a little sad. Not because of my gifts... I was totally spoiled and got everything I wanted and more. 🎁 

My Christmas joy is a little dim because I was too excited about my own creativity and maybe even a little arrogant about my gifting prowess.

It wasn't one, or two, but quite a few gifts I gave this Christmas where the level of excitement of the receiver did not come close to matching mine as the giver of what I thought to be the perfect gift. The "oh my gosh this is so great! I love it so much!" that I was expecting didn't come. And I know...I know... giving gifts is about celebrating the people in your life and showing that they matter. I'm not sad that I didn't get enough praise. I'm sad because my gifts maybe weren't as special as I wanted them to be. And it wasn't just one. 

One gift that I thought was so beautiful and sentimental was... let's just say I felt like I had given a 7 year old a pair of socks for Christmas. It did not inspire the touching reaction I expected. 

Another was a gift where the recipient knew what the gift was, so I tried to come up with a fun, creative way to deliver it. It didn't seem like the gift or the presentation were as great as I thought. What I'd hoped was a clever and resourceful way of giving a basic (but great) gift seemed less like fun and almost kind of annoying in real time. 

Another gift I thought I was so crafty in making was kind of a bust. While the gift was well received, the personalization I had carefully chosen didn’t stand out.

Finally, the one gift I was SO over the top excited about giving was...meh. I thought of a unique way to present a gift that took time and effort to bring to fruition. I made a whole "theme" for the gift, with little additional items that went along with the main gift.  And it flopped. It flopped so bad that the recipient didn't even really get the gist of the gift until I spelled it out.  

SIGH. 

Maybe I'm losing my knack for getting just the right gift. Maybe I'm trying too hard to find the perfect gift.  Probably my expectations were just way too high...after all, what feels extraordinary to me may land quietly with someone else.

I know I'll never stop trying to find fun, meaningful gifts. It's just who I am. But after today, I know I'll try to temper my excitement and expectations over the gifts I give, just in case my loved ones are less than impressed with gifts that I'm SO pleased to give. 

Bah humbug.

Until next Christmas. 

Kicking cancer's ass - day 4500

Here's a word of advice for couples with children... if you think life will slow down when you are "empty nesters", you are WRONG! I looked back at my last blog post and it was THREE MONTHS AGO. Like, what? I don't even have a half hour to write something in my blog and now it's almost Christmas? What is going on???

Turns out, a lot has been going on! Working full time with two side gigs is not for sissies. I'm always working. It's a good problem to have, especially because I work with some really great people who definitely appreciate me, but I need to be more diligent about scheduling some down time for myself. Maybe that's my goal for 2026. 

Jared and Brooke have settled in to their new house and are starting to wade into wedding planning! (Well, Brooke is, Jared just says "whatever she wants"). Kelsie is thriving at Hardin Simmons and waitressing at the country club.

Have you noticed that the older you get, the harder it is to recover from a simple cold? I was under the weather for several WEEKS... with nothing more than a cold. No fever, no body aches, no bad cough. It started out as a sore throat when we went to the Texas Longhorns football game (I thought it was just from being out in the night air), then it morphed into the never-ending congestion and fatigue. As I was recovering from that, we were creeping up on Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving? Wasn't it just summer?

We were SO happy to have my mom and Dana here for a visit. It was too short (aren't they always?), but we packed a lot in. They arrived on Jared's birthday, and his birthday dinner of choice every year is Abuelo's. After dinner, we went back to Jared's house to have birthday cake. Mom and Dana LOVED Jared and Brooke's home. It's so perfect for them. I don't know how I can possibly be old enough to have a 24 year old son who owns a home and is getting married, but that's another story.

Another favorite "must eat" when Mom comes to Abilene is Vagabond Pizza. We went downtown for lunch the Saturday after Thanksgiving, then went to tour the Grace Museum—Jared and Brooke's wedding venue next November. It was so wonderful to see it and get all the details of how it will all work. There was even a vow renewal ceremony that day, so we were able to see it all dressed up. I'm so grateful that Brooke arranged that during my mom's visit.

We managed to squeeze in a dinner at Perini's (Boyd wasn't feeling well so he missed out) on the coldest day of the year so far, and showed Grammie & Dana Kelsie's apartment. Zora LOVED having new people to get attention from.

In between the cold from hell and the holiday/birthday/visit chaos, we decided to have our carpet replaced with vinyl flooring. What were we thinking???  I know what *I* was thinking. I've been wanting to get rid of our carpet for YEARS (kids + pets + Texas dirt = GROSS), so when hubby started talking about it, I delayed my Christmas decorating for a week and ran with it! I worked from home for a few days while they installed the floors. I LOVE THEM!

As if all of that wasn't enough, Boyd had surgery on December 4th. 

It's a long story, but after almost six months of tests and scans and doctor visits, it was determined that one side of his diaphragm is paralyzed and caused his lung to partially collapse. That explains why he's had chest pain, shortness of breath, fatigue and even unexplained weight loss for the past year. It took a handful of blood tests, several CT scans and x-rays, a few pulmonary function tests, an endoscopy, colonoscopy, visits to his primary care doctor, cardiologist, gastro-intestinal doctor and pulmonary doctor, and a "sniff" test... and it was that last 30 second test that sealed the deal. When you breathe in (or sniff), your diaphragm is supposed to lower, giving your lungs room to expand. During Boyd's sniff test, the left side of his diaphragm didn't move. 

Recovery from surgery has been slower than Boyd would like... but what better time to slow down and take it easy than the holidays?

Last month I saw both my oncologist here in Abilene and my surgical oncology team in Dallas. I also learned that I will not be seeing either of them next year! Dr. Heaven, my oncologist, is retiring, so I will be assigned to another medical oncologist in his office. He gave me a hug and said he was proud of me... it was so touching. My surgical oncologist is transferring me to the survivorship care team, and I'll see a PA with them from now on. It's bittersweet, because it's a blessing to be outliving my doctors' care, but it's kind of like giving up my safety net, not seeing them any longer.

Today marks day 4500 of kicking cancer's ass. It has not been easy, and even now I have good days and bad, both mentally and physically. However, I am so thankful for every single day that I get to spend with my family and friends, the memories I am still here to make, and the people who have helped me along the way. 

We are in the home stretch before Christmas, and then we can all make New Year's resolutions that we won't keep. ha ha  From my family to yours, Merry Christmas, and a happy and HEALTHY new year for everyone!

Kicking cancer's ass - day 4405

My response to ABC canceling the Jimmy Kimmel show: the First Amendment is freedom of speech - NOT freedom from consequences of that speech. There are liberals across the country, in all industries, losing their jobs because they decided to be vile, hateful human beings who celebrate murder. I know two right here in our school district. 

Here's what Megyn Kelly had to say about it today, and I agree 100%:

“I’m not sure who needs to hear this but Jimmy Kimmel got on the air and falsely stated as a fact that Charlie Kirk’s killer was MAGA, smearing an entire movement and Trump in particular with a vile disgusting lie - and at a time when the threat against those on the right is at an all-time high.

This was after we knew from the UT gov that the killer had been indoctrinated into LEFT-wing ideology, after we’d seen the shooter’s bullet casings reflecting furry/trans memes, calling Charlie a fascist and w/anti-fascist lyrics. It was after we had learned the shooter was living with his trans-furry boyfriend and believed Charlie Kirk was “full of hate.” After we learned that the shooter was not registered GOP, but “unaffiliated.” After we saw him pull the trigger just as Charlie discussed trans killers. There was zero - ZERO - evidence the shooter was MAGA, had ever been MAGA, or was influenced by MAGA in any way.

This was an intentional lie to GIN UP HATRED toward the very group of ppl most suffering in the wake of our devastating loss of Charlie and Kimmel did it willfully and even gleefully to a cheering complicit audience.

ANY EMPLOYER IN MEDIA WOULD SEE HOW DEPRAVED AND SICK THIS WAS. (In 2021 ABC fired Chris Harrison for saying maybe we should judge a Bachelorette contestant’s attendance (years earlier) at an antebellum party by what was considered offensive at the time. FIRED! His career never recovered!)

The Left doesn’t believe ABC was genuinely horrified by Kimmel (& instead attributes this to the FCC threat). That’s bc even they know ABC has no moral core (we agree with you - it doesn’t).

But what the Left doesn’t seem to understand and needs to hear is that MAGA has f&cking HAD IT. We are ANGRY. We are INCENSED watching the L smear us, our ppl, literally getting some of our friends killed (not to mention our president shot and nearly assassinated again weeks later) and then LYING about it. (“Trump faked his injury! He wasn’t actually shot!” “We have no idea what the motives ever are … if they are bad for our side!”)

I have zero doubt ABC was overwhelmed with absolutely furious calls/comments/emails from truly-FED UP viewers, and knew it had crossed a deadly serious line.

In short, GOOD RIDDANCE.”

Jimmy Kimmel didn't get "canceled" because he said something objectionable. He didn't have his show pulled because Trump is a tirant and the FCC chair wants to censor everyone. He was fired because he flat out lied, spewing anti-MAGA facts and rhetoric because that's all he does. That's not comedy. That's perpetuating the hateful attack against conservatives that results in tragedies like Charlie Kirk being assassinated.

If you're mad that Jimmy lost his show but you're not mad that Charlie lost his life, your priorities are skewed and I can't find common ground with someone like you.

Kicking cancer's ass - day 4398

 

My heart is so heavy.

My heart was heavy 24 years ago today. 9/11 was a day that changed America.
My heart has been heavy every 9/11 since then, remembering.

What happened yesterday hit me even harder.

First I want to share my blog post from 9/11/2011... ten years after that fateful day. I grew up a New Yorker. I've stood on top of the swaying World Trade Center. I felt that loss, the horrifying death of so many people, in my soul. I won't repeat what I've already written, because I couldn't say it any better than I already did. (Click the photo for the link)

Blog from 9/11/11

We've all heard so many stories of people inspired by the events of 9/11. Men and women who immediately joined the military to fight for our country. Patriotism ran rampant. People who changed career paths to become police officers or firefighters because of the inspirational stories of first responders that day and in the days following. September 11, 2001 lit a fire in so many Americans.

Yesterday lit a fire in me.

I don't know if you know the name Charlie Kirk. His bio says he was "an American right-wing political activist, author, and media personality. He co-founded the conservative organization Turning Point USA (TPUSA) in 2012 and was its executive director."

He was so much more. Charlie represented everything that was good and positive in conservative America. He founded Turning Point USA when he was only eighteen years old. He had a message to share, and he found a way to share it with millions. He was kind but firm in his beliefs. He welcomed honest, open debate—he literally had a "Prove Me Wrong" banner at his events, inviting conversation with those who had opposing views. He would say "whoever disagrees with me, come to the front of the line." And he was respectful about it. He asked questions. He listened. He shared his platform with everyone. 

People are saying he was a fascist. He was a racist. He was a white supremacist. All the things the Left tries to throw at conservatives to see what will stick. You might see a short video clip of him speaking and think, "yeah, maybe so". I invite you to go back and watch ALL of his videos. His speeches at Turning Point events. He didn't just talk the talk. He walked the walk. He might not have always been right (who is?), but he never stopped trying to find, if not common ground, then mutual understanding. 

I dare you to go WATCH.EVERY.SINGLE.CHARLIE.KIRK.DEBATE. 

Don't watch edited clips. Watch the whole thing. All of them. See him speak with students on college campuses all across this nation. He drew THOUSANDS to his events.  The media claims he was "divisive". Why? Because he wore a MAGA hat? Because he talked about God? Because he spoke about wanting to make America better? No...it's because the media is controlled by the Left, and liberals hate everything Charlie stood for. Charlie loved America and wanted to help make it a country that is safe, successful and prosperous for you, me, his children, and even the people who disagree with him.

Charlie wasn't perfect. Nobody is. We are all sinners. But Charlie loved his family and God. He spoke openly about Jesus and quoted scripture. He spoke about Christian values that were the roots of what America was founded on. Charlie was the heart of the younger conservative movement, and his message resonated with millions of young adults. Charlie brought Gen Z into the political movement, opening their eyes to the brainwashing and gaslighting of the woke culture that have taken over our country.

Yesterday, September 10, 2025, he was murdered. Shot at long range while speaking on a college campus—something he did hundreds of times. He was wearing a shirt that said "FREEDOM". 

Charlie was magnetic, dynamic, and convicted in standing up for what he believed in. He may not have always been right, and you may not like what he had to say, but he didn't deserve to die because someone didn't like his message. He was only 31 years old. He was a father to two young children. He leaves behind a grieving wife. They were right there with him when he was killed.

What is it about that picture that triggers people? A beautiful traditional family? A successful, self-educated visionary? A man proud of his faith? A man who wanted to share his truth and to have conversations and open dialogue, even (maybe especially) with people who disagreed with him? 

They couldn't beat him in a debate, so they silenced him.

Yesterday was HARD. I'm still crying and I didn't even know him. I'm heartsick to know that this is what our world is now. A good man demonized, a Christian father and husband killed. And what's worse...people are gleeful about it. The posts all over social media celebrating his death and even saying he brought it on himself... I don't know what's left of humanity. Someone just sent me a screen shot of a post from our local school district - an elementary school teacher celebrating his death. This is someone teaching our youth?? It's sickening and scary and I'm gutted, because Charlie stood for everything I believe in. 

I haven't always been a conservative. In my teens, I couldn't care less about politics. When I was old enough to vote, I mostly voted Democrat, because it was what I knew, living in upstate NY. Decades later, I'm appalled at my apathy. My nonchalance. I wish I had spent more time soul-searching. I wish I had spent more energy standing up for my values. I wish I had been more like Charlie Kirk. 

We don't watch mainstream media anymore. The lies and propaganda (as evidenced by the MSNBC firing of a news anchor yesterday for blaming Charlie himself for his own murder) are endless. So on election night, we opened up YouTube and tuned in to Charlie Kirk's podcast. We watched for hours... well into the night, and when Donald Trump was finally announced as the winner, Charlie cried. The joy and relief on his face reflected the feelings of 80 million conservatives trying to save America.

I believe there are a few key people who were instrumental in putting Trump back in the White House.
Elon Musk buying X (Twitter) so people can speak truth. X is the news now.

Scott Presler working tirelessly to deliver Pennsylvania to Trump.

Charlie Kirk and his tremendous movement to reach the young adult voters across this country through Turning Point USA.

I watched an interview with Sage Steele (former ESPN personality, now host of the Sage Steele show) last night where she remembered Charlie Kirk and honored him with some beautiful words. What struck me the most is what she said about conservatives being silent. She said that middle of the road conservatives have learned to stay quiet. We are the ones who don't rock the boat, the ones who keep the peace. But all that did was leave a void that was instantly filled with the angry, violent, deranged voice of the Left. She said that Charlie was never silent. He spoke his truth. We owe it to him to not be silent anymore. 

And it made me think. WHY are we silent? Why is it up to us to be the peace-keepers? In case you haven't noticed, all of the bullets flying are coming from one direction. Conservatives are being targeted. When was the last time a prominent liberal was assassinated by a conservative? Leftist fanatics are behind almost all of the school shootings in recent years. 

CONSERVATIVES ARE NOT THE VIOLENT ONES.

Newsflash: the American flag isn't controversial. It's a symbol of the country we live in. Wearing red, white and blue doesn't make you a bad person. Wanting America to be great is not something to hate people for. Since when is being patriotic something to demonize? 

Just because you are offended doesn't make you right.

I'm done being quiet. I have no desire to "unite" with people who want to kill me for speaking my truth. There is nothing offensive about loving America. It's where I live, why wouldn't I love it and want it to be the best country in the world? There is nothing wrong with being a Christian. In today's godless world, faith is becoming more and more sacred. I don't ask you to share my beliefs... but you have no right to mock or criticize mine, or worse - kill me for them. 

​"If you believe in something, you need to have the courage to fight for those ideas - not run away from them or try to silence them." -Charlie Kirk

I have friends and family who are on the opposite end of the political spectrum from me. Who you vote for does not determine my feelings for you. I have people in my life who are not Christian, and that's not for me to judge. Differences are ok. For the most part I try to keep politics and religion out of those relationships (I don't always succeed), because I know how offensive it is to some. People have lost the ability to agree to disagree. 

You don't have to believe what I believe for me to love you.  You don't have to vote the same way as me for me to consider you a friend. We were all given our own hearts and minds for a reason... you decide what matters to you and I decide what matters to me, and if you're a good person who treats me kindly, we have no problem. 

But if you are someone so twisted by hate that you de-humanize anyone who thinks differently from you, I wish you well but also wish you out of my life. If you celebrate something like the murder of Charlie Kirk, go ahead and unfollow me and lose my number. I can't stay silent on this. If you are in my life and you feel even one ounce of joy over his murder, say goodbye to me now. I have no use for someone like that in my life. You are humanity at its worst.

I believe in kindness. I believe in compassion. I believe in respect. I believe in loving your neighbor. What I don't believe in is trying to find common ground with people who want someone like Charlie Kirk dead because they don't like his message. 

Being a conservative doesn't mean I'm a racist. Being a conservative doesn't mean I'm intolerant. My being a conservative should not affect YOU at all. I have friends of all races and sexuality. You do you. I'll worry about me.

I'm so thankful that my small circle is made up of people who share my values. People who love America. People who believe in God. People who don't celebrate a senseless political assassination.

I can only hope that this sparks 10,000 more Charlie Kirks. Our country needs it. God bless America.

"Charlie Kirk was the best of America" ~ President Trump

Kicking cancer's ass - day 4357 (12 YEARS)

 

Today marks twelve years since I heard the words "It's cancer".

Those two words changed my life in so many ways. Even now, years and years after cancer treatment and surgeries, there are a lot of days where I feel everything catch up to me: mentally, physically and emotionally. The load is heavy sometimes.
My friends tell me I have PTSD from everything I've gone through. I probably do. 

I wish I could be one of those people who "gets past it". Someone who gets healthy and never looks back. Just a blip on the radar. Cancer is invasive, though, and I don't just mean on a cellular level. There are so many scars (inside and out). There are medications and side effects, to this day. I have lymphedema (from having lymph nodes removed), which will never go away. There's always another test, another appointment. 

Next week I have to have my annual abdominal MRI for pancreatic cancer screening... the same test that triggered another round of tests, scans and biopsies last fall. The fear never goes away. Ever. Every bump, every mysterious symptom, every pain is suspicious. 

This is not a "woe is me" post, though. I'm not wallowing in all of the terrible things cancer is. Thankfully I am doing well. Trying to age gracefully ha ha 

My body will always look and feel way older than I am, chemo brain is real and menopause sucks (even all these years later). With all of that said, I am SO DAMN GRATEFUL to be here, living life, making so many amazing memories with my friends and family. My circle is small, but treasured.

It seems like there's always so much going on and I'm busier than ever. I will never complain about seizing the moment and making the most of every day, though! We've had a lot of changes in our little family over the past few months... new apartment, new home, new puppy, new school, new fiancee... it's hard to capture all of that in one post, so I'm just going to do a big photo dump from the spring and summer.

Our annual trip to Oklahoma City for the Womens College World Series was FANTASTIC. Not only was the weather perfect (aside from the tornado, but that's a story for
another day), but our favorites - Texas Longhorns - took home their first national championship! 

Kelsie even caught a foul ball! Only took 9 years of going... ha ha

One of my very favorite things to do is go to concerts. Hubby is not a fan, but thankfully Kels is the best concert buddy! She's always up for a show, learns the set lists and even designs our matching outfits. She's my little broke bestie and I wouldn't change a thing!

We had the best time at Post Malone/Jelly Roll and TWO NIGHTS of Morgan Wallen in Arizona. We even dragged Hubby to a show! Unfortunately it didn't turn him into a fellow MW superfan.

Dexter is still... Dexter. He's high maintenance and loud and gives us a health scare every now and then, but he's 13 going on 2 and loving life. Goose is 4 now, weighs more than Dexter and is the strangest cat I know. 

Speaking of pets... this little love is Kelsie's new best friend. Meet Zora. Both of my pets are terrified of her. 

She's the cutest little thing. I never mind puppy sitting!

We officially moved Kelsie out of her dorm in May, and she's not going back! She is transferring to Hardin Simmons in Abilene, and has an apartment with her friend Chloe. San Angelo wasn't the right fit for her. Hoping she finds her college home at HSU!

We had a fast and furious road trip to Arizona, but we packed in a lot. Two days in a fabulous condo, two nights of Morgan Wallen, a day trip to the Grand Canyon and some interesting stops on the way home. Over 2500 miles and 45+ hours of driving!

Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in wife/mom/job duties and activities that I forget to nourish the part of me that needs to connect with my girls. I was so happy to spend a relaxing weekend with these wonderful friends... snacks, pjs, Netflix, and we capped it off with The Lion King.

Long lost friends!!!  I haven't seen Kim in over ten years, and I just happened to be at a conference an hour away from where she lives. We had a quick half day visit, but SO good to see her!

I've been a romance reader for decades, and I'm thrilled to work with some amazing authors (I'm a virtual personal assistant). I had the best time at RAGT and we were all honored to meet Lori Foster.

 

Another right place, right time friend visit... Shelley and her daughter Charlotte were in Dallas for volleyball. We made a weekend trip to Winstar to gamble and soak in some sun. 

New job at the country club!

I am BEYOND thrilled that my son finally (FINALLY) proposed to this sweet, beautiful girl. They celebrated their engagement with a trip to Vegas (and Wrestlemania), and then bought a house when they got back! 

July 4th getaway to the casino!

New furniture!

The two best things I ever did. 

Ice cream date with my hubby. 

Adulthood means being excited about new appliances!

Life is good. Every day is a gift. My cup runneth over. 🫶

Here's to many, many more years as a CANCER SURVIVOR!