Kicking Cancer's Ass - day 2750

One day last week Hubby said to me, "I had a sad day yesterday."

It surprised me, not because I don't think he ever feels sad.... it's just that he never SAYS it.  Most men keep their feelings to themselves, and he's no exception.

Turns out his sad day was also my sad day.  And it hasn't just been one day.

While we are over the moon thrilled for all of our friends who are happily sharing pictures of their daughters playing high school softball, each time we see one, our hearts break a little more.  Envy is not a virtuous quality, but we're human and we have faults.  And we are SO ENVIOUS of all of the proud parents who get to watch their girls play ball for their school.

K has played softball for ten years.  Ten years of practices and batting lessons and pitching lessons and tournaments.  Ten years of friends who have come and gone and some who have stayed and have become family.  Ten years of looking forward to the day when she could put on her purple Wylie gear and step into the circle on the field at her school. 

That won't happen.  Our girl had a tough, tough decision to make.  And I believe she made the right choice for her.  As a parent, you want your children to succeed, but you also want them to be successful doing what they love.  On the flip side, as a parent, it's difficult to watch your child NOT choose something she has worked ten years for.

K has played softball since she was four years old.  She played one season of tee ball, a couple years of league ball and then eight years of travel ball.  She started pitching when she was nine.  She has played through happy times, sad times, injuries, illness, God-awful heat and bitter cold.  She has lost some friends but gained even more, and the girls she plays with now are like sisters.

Last year in junior high K signed up for theater.  She adored her teacher and absolutely LOVED being on stage.  She played the leg lamp in A Christmas Story and she had the lead role in their UIL One Act Play where she was awarded best actress.  She was cast in Hairspray last spring but they never got to perform it thanks to COVID.  

I wasn't sure if she would enjoy theater as much in high school because part of what she loved so much was her teacher.  It didn't matter.  K loves it.  She loves performing, she loves the people, she doesn't even complain about rehearsals!  K had an ensemble part for Grease this past fall and the lone female role in Of Mice and Men.  Last week their cast for The Miraculous Journey of Edward Toulane competed in One Act Play and advanced to bi-district.  She was one of only three freshmen who earned roles on varsity.

The big decision she had to make was choosing between high school softball and high school theater.  Apparently the two don't mix.  She was getting grief for missing softball practices to go to theater and vice versa.  She earned a role on varsity One Act Play, but would not have been able to keep it if she missed rehearsals for softball.  She would probably have been on JV softball and would have less playing time if she missed softball practices to go to theater.

In the end, K chose theater.  It broke our hearts.  Softball has been such a big part of our lives and while we always looked forward to the day she could represent Wylie on that field, we also thought that was her goal.  And it was.  Unfortunately K was miserable in high school softball.  She is a pleaser and does not like to disappoint, so having coach frustrated with her for having other commitments was wearing her down.  K also said that she never felt like she fit in with the other girls.  She has two good friends in softball, but they pretty much paired up when K wasn't there, so when she was there, she was odd girl out.

It was heartbreaking for my daughter to come out of school crying because she had to make this decision.  Even though she decided she wanted to stay with theater, giving up softball was not easy for her at all.  The day she talked to coach about dropping, she came out to the car and her face just crumpled.  She was upset for herself, upset because she disappointed her coach, and upset because she knew we were upset. 

It's very frustrating to us that she had to choose.  We realize that every coach/director/teacher wants their students at their activity 100% of the time.  However, we also know there are certain other overlaps with school activities.  Cheerleaders miss some football games because they play volleyball.  Wylie Belles miss theater and vice versa due to conflicting schedules.  Softball and baseball players miss weeks of practice because basketball season is still going.  Athletes in all sports miss activities because of FFA events like stock shows.  We wish there had been some give and take so that K could have been able to participate in both.  She just didn't have it in her to give up a varsity role in theater as a freshman for reduced playing time in softball.

We always knew the day would come when we'd face the end of K's softball days.  We just never anticipated this kind of bump in the road.  If she feels appreciated and like she fits in more with the theater group, and she loves to perform, then we are happy for her and support her decision.  That doesn't mean we are not mad about the fact that she had to make a decision at all.

Friends, I love your daughters and I love seeing them shine!  Please don't feel like I'm complaining about your high school pictures and posts.  I'm not.  I'm truly happy for you and them.  I'm just very envious - it's a tough pill to swallow right now, knowing that will never be my softball player.   

The one silver lining is that she still wants to play travel softball.  It's not the same as representing your school and maybe earning a letter jacket, and we know her days for this are also numbered, but at this point we're just happy she's playing at all.   There are girls on her travel team that she's played with for more than half of her softball career.  It's FUN to go to tournaments and play with them, and she doesn't have to worry about feeling like she doesn't belong.  She knows her place on this team, and it gives her the opportunity to continue to play the sport she loves without all of the pressure.

A look back at ten years... 

Kicking Cancer's Ass - day 2743

GOOD RIDDANCE FEBRUARY!!!!!

February is my least favorite month.  In fact, I'll be so bold as to say I HATE the month of February.  Which is odd, because it's my birthday month.

I've had two miscarriages, one in my twenties and one in my thirties.  Both were in February.

Trudy, my best friend in the whole world, the sister I never had, passed away in February.  Three years ago.

February was the last time I saw my good friend Allyson before she passed away.  Seven years ago.

Two of the most difficult recoveries from cancer surgery that I had to endure were in February.

Even in Texas, February is brown and ugly and dreary.  Some days are sunny and 75 degrees, but then the next day might be 35 degrees, windy and raining.  It's gross.

You know what I hate even more than February?  

March 1st.  

Two years ago today I lost my big brother. 

 

I don't have it in me to write a loving tribute, because I don't have the words to express myself.

  

Denial.  I still find it hard to believe that he's gone.  I don't know how many times I've actually opened my phone and pulled up his number to call or text him.  Then I remember. 

 

Anger.  WHY????  I am still SO MAD.  

Sadness.  I have so much pain in my heart because he's not in my life anymore.

Darren was spontaneous and outgoing.  He was a little OCD like me.  He never met a stranger.  If he loved you, he loved you BIG.  He was smart and likable and would give you the shirt off his back.  He liked to drive fast and talk faster.  He liked heavy metal music.  He liked wine, beer and steak.  He liked to golf.  He liked to work out.  He loved the Dallas Cowboys. 

There are no words to describe today's heartache.  

I just miss you D.  

p.s.  Thank you for Dexter

Kicking Cancer's Ass - day 2742

 

God bless America.

I have a lot to say and I can't say it on social media because a) many of my family and friends disagree with me, which will result in a verbal attack (because that's what happens when you disagree with someone on politics these days) and/or b) I will be censored.

This post is about MY beliefs in what is and has been going on in America.  Whether you agree with me or not, whether you believe it or not, I want to share.  I want to share, mostly because I have SO MUCH anxiety and feel SO STRONGLY about everything and have no outlet for it, but also because I want this post to be date-stamped so I can go back and say "I told you so."

(The font I'm using is called "Righteous".  Is that not.... RIGHTEOUS?!?!??!)

Donald J Trump is my president.  Yes, I scoffed at all of my friends who protested "not my president" for four years, and now I'm doing the same.  I admit it.  Don't tell me to "get over it"  Don't tell me we need "unity".  Don't tell me we have to "move on".  Did the anti-Trumpers do any of that?  At any moment in the last four years, did that happen??  The Democrats tried to convict President Trump in an impeachment trial AFTER HE WAS NO LONGER IN OFFICE!!!  How is that "moving on"?  I do not say that Biden is not my president simply because I'm upset because he won.  I'm declaring that Joe Biden is not my president simply because he DID NOT WIN.  

You want proof?  Do some research on Sidney Powell.  She has a ton of evidence.  Read Patrick Byrne's book on Amazon.  The Deep Rig.  There were illegal votes, lost votes, switched votes, duplicate votes, DEAD PEOPLE votes.  I even heard of a university student whose service dog was mailed a ballot because he was listed as a "student" in order for her to be able to bring him on campus.  

Why don't people want to know the truth?  Why don't they want to see that many states had more votes than registered voters?  Almost 200,000 of them in Pennsylvania alone.  Why don't they want to see that state politicians and judges illegally changed voting procedures, some right before election day, instead of following constitutional law and going through state legislatures?  Fulton County, Georgia, had 2000 ballots from people who no longer reside there.  That's ILLEGAL!  I read a report today about Dominion machines and fraud.  Wanna read?  Antrim County Michigan Forensics Report

There is no way that this election map proves that Joe Biden won the election.  Before the states mysteriously stopped counting on election night, before suitcases of ballots were pulled out from under tables, before hundreds of thousands of votes were SWITCHED on live tv from Trump to Biden (there are many, many videos and screen shots to prove this), Trump was on track to win by a landslide.  German news reported that before the Dominion servers were seized, Trump had 410 electoral votes.  

Biden won 509 counties and Trump won 2,547 counties.  I realize the counties Biden won were largely urban, but I find it really, really far fetched that Biden had over 80 MILLION votes in only 1/6 of the nation's counties.  If that's true, then our election system was set up to fail from the beginning.   Because that means the result of the presidential election is decided by New York, Los Angeles, Washington DC, Seattle, Detroit, Philadelphia and Atlanta.  Anyone not living in a big city obviously has no voice.

Tell me this.... have you EVER seen any state stop counting ballots on a presidential election night?  They just stopped.... for several hours... and then magically started back up.  And when they started counting again, 90% of the votes from that point on were for Biden.  How many statistical impossibilities have to happen before it's declared impossible?

Tell me this... have you EVER seen a candidate's vote count, ANY candidate's vote count, actually GO DOWN during counting?  EVER?  There were several instances in several states where Biden's vote count significantly increased and Trump's vote count significantly decreased AT THE SAME TIME and BY THE EXACT SAME NUMBER OF VOTES.

That just doesn't happen.  You can argue with me until you run out of air, but I will never believe you.  IT. DOES. NOT. HAPPEN.

There is no evidence, you say.  The courts wouldn't hear the cases because it's not true, you say.  WRONG.  The entire government is corrupt.  Even the Supreme Court.  Watch.  Just because you don't see it on CNN or Fox News doesn't mean it's not true.  

SCOTUS did a great disservice to tens of millions of Americans by choosing not to hear any election-related cases or look at the evidence.  Politics has no place in law.  The Supreme Court should not have let political bias affect their decisions.  But they did.

I believe COVID-19 was created and released as biological warfare.  I do not believe it originated from bats and "accidentally" got out.  It was purposely released, and it was purposely done so during this election year.  In October of 2020, Biden mentions how President Trump is not prepared for a pandemic.  It's almost like he could predict the future!  I wouldn't think a pandemic would be the usual fodder discussed in a political race.  I believe Dr. Fauci 100% knew about it and was even complicit in the development in that Wuhan lab.  He can tell me to wear 10 masks... I don't believe him.  I don't like him.  I don't trust him.

I believe that Dr Fauci is as corrupt as anyone.  He had/has a vested interest in the COVID-19 virus and the lab it was created in.  He is not only the highest paid medical professional but the highest paid FEDERAL EMPLOYEE in the nation. 

I believe that the CDC does not know it's head from its ass.  I'm tired of hearing how COVID-19 is a mysterious, unpredictable virus and that it's a fluid situation.  Those are just words they toss out to cover themselves when they got something wrong or need to change their minds about something.  Over the past year they have repeatedly changed the numbers, saying they purposely inflated the death count.  

2020 had roughly the same amount of deaths in the United States as the previous year.  Look at that chart.  LOOK AT IT.  Straight from the CDC web site.  Do those look like pandemic numbers????  If they do, why haven't we been in a pandemic for the last ten years, since the death rate has been virtually the same?  Do you know how many hospitalizations the US reported in 2020 for the flu?  Under 200!!!!!!!!!!  For the entire country!  Wow!  COVID magically cured the flu!  

Florida pretty much lifted COVID restrictions completely.  Florida is doing fantastic, while cases are still rising in other states.  What's the secret??  Maybe lockdowns DON'T WORK!

Before you completely lose your mind, I am NOT saying that the virus isn't real.  I had it.  My hubby had it.  His father had it.  My friend had it.  What I *am* saying is that it's not a pandemic.  I am a cancer survivor with lymphedema and Lyme disease.  Hubby is a former smoker with high blood pressure and high cholesterol.  His dad was 84 years old when he contracted it.  My friend has no thyroid.  You know what?  WE ALL RECOVERED.  Was it fun?  Absolutely not.  Do people die from it?  Of course.  I'm not arguing that.  What I AM arguing is that COVID-19 is worth ruining our country for.  We have basically been shut down for almost a year.  The economy was in the toilet (after seeing many of the best years ever).  Patients in hospitals and nursing homes are suffering and dying... alone... because of COVID restrictions.  Schools have shut down.  Businesses have closed.  Jobs have been lost.  And for what?  Almost the same amount of people died in 2019, yet nothing was shut down.  

IT. MAKES. NO. SENSE.

I'm terrified of the vaccine.  Google Bill Gates and "depopulation".  I don't know why people are so enthusiastically getting injected with a vaccine that was fast-tracked in less than a year, for a virus that has greater than 99% survival rate.

Supposedly the virus doesn't mean you can't spread the virus. 
Let's play a little Q & A:

Q. Did you take the Covid vaccine?

A: Yes. 

Q. Do you know that you can still get Covid?

A. Yes.

Q. Do you know that you can still spread Covid to others?

A. Yes. 

Q. So you know that you still have to wear a mask (or two!) and social distance?

A. Yes.

Q. Then why did you take the vaccine?

A. [Silence]

Q. Did you take the vaccine because you knowingly wanted to modify your DNA?

A. I did not know that. I did not read up on the vaccine before I took it. Does it really do that???

Moral of this story: When you are given the right to choose, educate yourself so that you can choose wisely.

Moving on...

Have you seen that file before?  I have.  Everyone scoffed at "conspiracy theorists" when they said the government covered up 9/11.  According to this indictment that was declassified last month, the government didn't cover up 9/11.  They orchestrated it.

I know you are either really with me on this or you are TOTALLY against me and feel like maybe I need my mental health evaluated.  Trust me, I am of sound mind.  

Main stream media is a fake.  They are all corrupt.  Did you know that MSM is owned by big tech?  

 "As of September 2020, the 6 media giants are ATT (bought Time Warner), CBS, Comcast, Disney, News Corp (the parent company of Fox News), and Viacom"

I don't know how many times I've heard  "I didn't see that on the news" or "that's not what the news said."  Ya think??  WAKE UP!  They are feeding you lies that fit their agenda.  Governor Andrew Cuomo has a giant nursing home COVID death scandal going on right now so he is all over the news, real and fake.  The two sexual harrassment complaints against him.... none of the main stream media outlets are covering that at all.

Watch this short video from an Arizona News anchor who grew tired of the gaslighting that is prevalent everywhere in the media:

Top rated news anchor resigns

READ THIS RIGHT HERE ↓↓↓↓

Look at what happened on Jan 6th at the Capitol.  MSM was quick to point the blame and crucify Trump supporters (and Trump himself).  They were even calling for Trump supporters to be labeled "domestic terrorists".  And yet the nominee for attorney general claims the Antifa attack on the federal courthouse in Portland was not domestic terrorism.... because it was nighttime.  ??????????????????????????????

So back to Jan 6th..... guess what?  In the following days and weeks, information began to trickle out about Antifa and BLM members infiltrating the rally, dressing as Trump supporters.  They were helped by the Capitol police.  They were ESCORTED in!  They are seen socializing inside the Capitol with law enforcement.  They were PAID by CNN, ABC and other news networks... tens of thousands of dollars.  This is not a lie.

If you think President Trump is the enemy, you are sorely mistaken.  He was the only man who was willing to stand up to the corrupt government and big tech giants who have completely overtaken our country by pushing their own agendas.  Everyone who has spent a lifetime in Washington has lined their pockets with millions of dollars, and yet President Trump LOST half his net worth while in office at the same time donating his salary.  Yet HE'S the enemy of the people?  

But wait... there's more....

Do you know who Julian Assange is?  If not, go do your research.  And not on CNN or Fox News.  He is a whistleblower and he knows a LOT of information about a LOT of people, and those people do NOT want that truth heard.  

I believe Hillary Rodham Clinton is a traitor.  Look up "Adrenochrome" and go down that rabbit hole.  I dare you.  

I believe Barack Obama is an illegitimate president  who was not born in the United States and I believe he's a traitor.  (And I'm honest enough to say I voted for him... the first time)

I believe Bill Gates is evil, and anyone taking medical advice from him is a moron.

I believe Michelle Obama is a man ("Big Mike").  Keep scrolling for more pictures.

I believe Mike Pence is a traitor.  Why else would he certify the fraudulent election results AGAINST his own President?  

I believe John Kerry is a traitor.  There is proof that he, and other Obama/Biden administration officials colluded with Iran when meeting with its foreign minister during the Trump administration.  Is that not treason?

I believe Mitch McConnell, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Shumer and Adam Schiff are traitors.

I believe several of the Supreme Court justices have been compromised, including John Roberts.  Roberts was recorded discussing Justice Scalia’s successor before the date of his sudden death. How did he know Scalia was going to die?  There are also reports that Roberts arranged an illegal adoption of two young children from Wales through Jeffrey Epstein.  Have you seen Jeffery Epstein's flight logs?  I have.

I believe Joe Biden is a corrupt pedophile and a traitor.

I also believe the "Joe Biden" we are seeing is either a senile old man who has had too much plastic surgery or a very bad body double.  He looks nothing like the Joe Biden from even a few years ago.  His ears are different.  His smile is different.  Even his eye color is different!

Our country is going to hell... and quickly.  Big companies like Coke and Under Armour force their employees to attend "anti-white" training.  McDonalds policy is to hire anyone BUT white people for corporate positions.  A Boston school district is removing its advanced classes because the students are all white or Asian.  How is any of THIS not considered racist against white people?!?!??!  

The liberal Democrats and their big money backers want to eliminate whites and genders.  The nominee to lead Biden's health department is an overweight transgender man. 

NOBODY in the current administration will answer questions about anything.  Joe Biden simply walks away when he doesn't want to answer.  The afore-mentioned Health dept nominee repeated the same response to every question by Senator Rand Paul... "If I am confirmed to this position I will be happy to come to your office to discuss this."   All you have to do is watch ONE White House press conference and see how many times Jen Psaki "ums" or "uhs" or says she will have to "circle back".  And this is with PRE-APPROVED questions!  Now they are supposed to start charging the press $170 for access.  

Does it not concern anyone that they want to keep the public and the press away from the administration????

They are totally against "the wall" that President Trump's admininstration was building.  They are all about gun control and restrictions.  And yet.... they (in the Capitol) are surrounded by walls (fences) and guns (soldiers).   The hypocrisy and double standard is unreal, and if you can't see it, you are blind.  BLIND.

I have more to say, so I may update this post in the days to come, but here's some food for thought...

Did you read that?  She doesn't care about you.  Your family's financial well-being is meaningless to her.  

So child porn on Twitter is acceptable, but tweets by the President of the United States are not.  Got it.  

Can you read the name on that credit card?  Malia Obama.  Know where that picture came from?  Hunter Biden's laptop.  

If you made it all the way through today's post, congratulations.  As this is MY blog, these are MY thoughts.  Maybe I'm way off base on most or all of the things I talked about.  Maybe I'm not.  Either way, I hope maybe I opened your eyes to see that all things are not always what they seem, or what you're told they are. 
 

I am not trying to convince you that I am right or you are wrong.  I do not judge you for your beliefs.  I ask that you don't judge me for mine.  

What has always made America the best country in the world is that despite it's diversity, we are "one nation, under God".   God bless America.