Kicking cancer's ass - day 3626

 

Ten years ago today, I received the phone call nobody wants to answer.  

I remember that day so vividly... I already knew, the minute I found the lump weeks earlier, that it was cancer.  That phone call was just a formality, diagnosis confirmed after testing.  

Even though I knew, I still wasn't prepared to hear "You have cancer".  

August 2013 is a complete blur to me.  I was an emotional wreck.  I couldn't talk to anyone on the phone, not even my mother.  My poor husband had to be the go-between for all of my doctor appointments because I couldn't even handle that.  Telling my kids that I had cancer was the single worst day of my life.

The only thing that broke through my fog of misery, the only person who I allowed to reach me, was my dear friend Allyson.  She had been fighting her own cancer battle for YEARS, and she knew exactly what to say and how to say it.  I am forever grateful to her for that conversation, and all of the ones that followed, because she taught me how to hold on to my faith in the middle of a war.

The last ten years have not been easy.  At age 40 I was diagnosed with Stage III invasive, aggressive breast cancer, and I was positive for the BRCA2 gene mutation (which puts me at higher risk for a lot of other cancers).  I had sixteen weeks of chemo, thirty-three days of radiation and twelve surgeries.  I have been on Tamoxifen, an estrogen blocker, since 2014.  I will probably be on it indefinitely.

My body and my emotions have taken a beating, and there are scars, but I am SO GRATEFUL to be able to say I am a TEN year survivor.

This is what ten years of fighting cancer looks like:

July 2013... in the best shape of my life. I would be a
cancer patient a few weeks later.

My first birthday after cancer... in between chemo & radiation. 
First major surgery done.

I lost my friend Allyson later that  year.

Cancer treatment DONE.  Reconstruction DONE.  
Hysterectomy DONE.

Three years after diagnosis... almost back to "normal".

I lost Barbara, my BFF's mom, my second mom, that year.

FU cancer.

Cancer is the gift that keeps on giving...
lymphedema never gets better, never goes away.

This is my new normal.

I lost my BFF to breast cancer right after my birthday in 2018.
Pink out has a whole different meaning to me.

We had almost the exact same diagnosis.

I lost my brother that year... but gained this little buddy.

I honestly did not know if I would be alive to see my kids graduate when the time came.
Little did I know, cancer wouldn't be the problem.  COVID was.

Celebrating 20 years with this man... the most incredible trip ever.

St Thomas, USVI  October 2021

Pink hair for October. 

I lost my dad early last year.

This is 50.  This is a decade of life after cancer.

This is 10 years of surviving everything cancer has thrown at me.

I have the best husband.

I have the most amazing children. 

I am blessed with fabulous friends.

Cancer tried to kill me ten years ago.

I'm still winning.

If you're in my corner, you mean more to me than you will ever know, and I could NOT do one day of this stupid journey without you.